New relationship energy: Be careful during the honeymoon phase, here's why

New relationship energy (also called NRE) is a term usually bandied about in the polyamorous community but it also applies to monogamous relationships. In short, NRE is the bubbly, excited, and often generally all-round intense emotions felt when getting to know a new partner.

Like falling in love, NRE typically manifests in a desire to spend all of your time with your new person, however, these feel good emotions sometimes come with collateral damage!

Unintended side effects of NRE

In the polyamorous community, NRE can have many unintended negative effects on pre-existing long-term relationships. Partners might find themselves prioritising their new relationship and not dedicating enough time and effort into others in their polycule.

For monogamists, similar behaviour can occur. Although spending all your time with your new person might feel euphoric at first due to the novelty, it can result in the needs and expectations of friendships and familial relationships to be ignored or overlooked, hurting your other loved ones in the process.

The cure

NRE needn't be a source of stress though as long as you anticipate and compensate for your all consuming desire to only see your new partner. Whilst it is generally accepted that you should never make big life decisions whilst in the throws of NRE, it is totally fine to enjoy the (largely pleasant) emotional highs of NRE while it lasts (just bear in mind that it may not be a true reflection or manifestation of your partner or your new relationship).

If you fear that your new relationship might reap the negative consequences of NRE, make a conscious effort to see your friends and family as well as giving yourself enough time to yourself. After all, they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder!

Sources used:

- Psychology Today: 'New relationship energy: what is it & how to deal with it'

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