Want to spice up your sex life? Try spanking for the first time with these tips

Spanking (in the erotic sense) is a type of impact play that involves hitting the fleshy part of the body with your hands or tools. Spanking causes a rush of feel-good hormones, such as dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin and endorphins, which turn that initial sting into an exalting sensation.

So if you're thinking of trying your hand at spanking, make sure you practise safely using the following tips:

Safety and consent

As with any kinky bedroom behaviour, before you and your partner try spanking for the first time, having each other's consent is key. It is also advised that you come up with a safe word together so that the action can stop as soon as anyone becomes uncomfortable. Short, memorable words work best, like 'red' or 'pineapple'.

How to spank

Once you've had these conversations, it's time to get to it! First, warm up the area with deep strokes. If you're brand new to spanking, the best way to start is simply using the palm of your hand. This creates a pleasant thud and loud spanking noise whilst providing an even and gentle impact on your partner.

If you want to introduce different sensations during your impact play, spanking using your fingers creates a stinging sensation which can also be enjoyable when applied to different areas of the body. You can also try using paddles, whips or canes if you're comfortable with spanking, but be sure to go gently and follow the sex toy's instructions: the aim is to hurt not to harm!

Where to spank

Spanking should be concentrated on the fleshy parts of the body, such as the bum, thighs, or breasts. The bum is the most popular option as it creates vibrations in the genitals which can increase sexual stimulation and lubrication. But did you know there are four different zones on your backside that you can smack? These are the top of the bum (near the lower back), the side booty and the hips, the underside of the bum cheek, and the central, squishy gluteus maximus.

Make sure to avoid spanking the mid-lower back where vital organs are housed!

Essential aftercare

To minimise any bruising, rub the location of impact after it's been spanked. As well as checking in with your partner during the spanking, be sure to ask them how they're feeling and if they need any special attention after the impact play as emotions might be running high.

Sources used:

Cosmopolitan: 'Here‘s Literally Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Spanking'

Sofia Gray: 'Paddles, whips, and canes – oh my! Impact play for beginners'

Read more:

⋙ 4 kinky sex positions you need to try today

⋙ Temperature play: The hottest (or coldest) kink you need to try

⋙ 10 kinky sex positions for same-sex couples