The pain of friendship breakup: Why don't we talk about it more?

Let’s all agree romantic breakups hurt like crazy, regardless if you were the dumper or the dumped. But, the end of friendships is just as painful, if not more. This is probably someone you’ve known for years or decades and in some cases, are closer than family. The termination of friendships is a radical loss, but sadly, it’s less talked about than romantic breakups.

To leave a friendship

Most adults know how to or where to find resources to help them end an intimate relationship or quit a job, while maintaining their dignity in the first place. Many would go on to replace those relationships or jobs in no time. But when it comes to friendship, there’s hardly any template on how to stop being friends with someone. A psychologist, Akua Boateng, tells Women’s Health:

Friendships can play a role in your overall mental and emotional health. When they end, it’s a big shift. Many people wonder how they’ll be able to cope without the support of that friendship.

But sometimes, certain friendships just have to end for different reasons. Often, what happens when we come to that realization is that we either do a slow fade out of people’s lives or end years of companionship in a screaming match, cold treatment or split friendship groups.

If you must end a friendship

You are not bound to be friends with someone for life. If the friendship doesn’t serve you any more or you feel you have outgrown it, there are ways to go about it, according to Psychology Today. Once you are sure talking through hurt feelings will not resuscitate the friendship, you should:

Talk to the other person. Use the format that seems most suitable and respectful: face-to-face, phone, text, or letter. Give the person space to respond if they need.

Let them know you value their presence in your life but for the reasons stated, you cannot continue to be friends.

Finally, allow yourself to grieve the friendship even if leaving was the right thing to do. Go no-contact for some time and resist the temptation to check them out on social media.

Read more:

⋙ Friendship: Believing these 4 myths can destroy your relationship

⋙ After years of friendship, they made an incredible discovery

⋙ Research claims that this is the surprising reason that friendships get cut short