Is intercourse not living up to expectations? Try outercourse

For too many of us, sex is directly related to intercourse, but it doesn’t always have to be that way. Those who experience pain during intercourse have trouble reaching climax, and even those who aren’t partial to male genitalia may prefer outercourse.

What is outercourse?

Outercourse is exactly what you think; it’s the opposite of intercourse; it’s everything sex is, but without penetration.

Now you may be thinking that outercourse sounds a whole lot like foreplay, but the difference is that foreplay often lends itself to penetration being the ‘main event’, whereas with outercourse, sex both begins and ends without anything or anyone having to ‘enter you.’

There are two schools of outercourse. Some people believe it involves everything except ‘penis in vagina’, and others take outercourse as excluding all forms of penetration, including fingers and toys. Both schools can be massively satisfying.

Making out, massages, external toy play, grinding, and even some forms of BDSM all make the cut when it comes to playing with outercourse. By taking the pressure away from penetrative sex and focusing on pleasure, these acts can result in immense arousal and orgasm.

What are the benefits of outercourse?

Not only is outercourse a source of nostalgic intimacy that sends us back to our high school days, but there are many more reasons why this style of sex might be beneficial, including:

• Outercourse is great for those who typically enjoy teasing and foreplay.
• Outercourse offers an alternative for those with endometriosis or vaginismus who find intercourse painful.
• Outercourse can extend sex for those who have trouble maintaining an erection.
• Outercourse can prevent pregnancy without the use of contraceptive methods.
• Outercourse is a way for people to experience sexual pleasure when they are uncomfortable with penetration.
• Outercourse is a great way to build intimacy and add a little something different to your sex life.

Are there any risks involved with outercourse?

As outercourse doesn’t typically involve any actual penetration, it also carries less risk than intercourse. The skin on the outside of your body isn’t as absorbent as the mucosal tissue located in areas such as the mouth, anus or vagina, making skin contact safer.

In saying that, any contact with mucosal tissue could result in a sexually transmitted disease, so using barrier contraceptive methods in these areas is always a good idea.

How to incorporate outercourse into your sex life

If you don’t know where to start when it comes to outercourse, think about the standard lead-up to sex. Instead of breezing through the foreplay, take your time to enjoy it. Spend some time massaging each other, talking about your fantasies, and you can even use your hands to manually stimulate and explore one another. Then, try keeping the outercourse going until you both hit that ‘O’ point.

It may seem a little juvenile to some, but for many more, outercourse can breathe fresh air back into the bedroom. Plus, the anticipation makes penetration all the more exciting.