Friendzone: Here's how to tell if your crush sees you as just a friend

It is a very common phenomenon. You spend some amazing times with your friend and then after a while you discover that you have developed feelings for that friend, but you notice that those feelings aren’t mutual. You’ve most likely been ‘friendzoned’. Don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world, here’s why.

What is the friendzone?

The term friendzone was coined in the 90s by Joey from the popular American sitcom Friends when he said that Ross was ‘the mayor of the zone’.

Basically, the friendzone is when you fall in love with one of your friends and find out that those feelings aren’t mutual. It isn’t an ideal situation but it isn’t the end of the world. The only issue is the imbalance that now exists in the relationship.

According to psychologist Estelle Dossin:

This expectation feeds hope, which makes the person in love suffer.

Read more:

⋙ Friendship: Believing these 4 myths can destroy your relationship

⋙ How to find love after 50, according to dating coaches

⋙ Platonic sleeping partners, a new relationship model

How to tell if you’ve been ‘friendzoned’?

It’s actually really easy to tell, you aren’t their priority. Your messages can go unanswered for hours, your meet-ups aren’t regular or the person will often talk about their various crushes with you or worse, they are trying to set you up with someone else.

To stay sane in this kind of situation, it is important to communicate with that person. If you don’t tell that person how you are feeling, there will always be some kind of grey area that you want to avoid.

You don’t have to do anything extravagant you just simply need to let them know. If you are too shy to tell them in person, just drop them a text, or for a slightly personal touch, you could write them a letter. The end goal is that the person knows how you feel.