Dirty talk for beginners: Here's how to speak sexy in the bedroom

Dirty talk might seem daunting, but just like any new sexual activity, it's useful to remind yourself to take it at your own pace, and that the end goal is ultimately to enjoy yourself!

Whilst for some dirty talking will always be too embarrassing or just not quite their thing (which is totally their prerogative), dirty talk can offer an amazing opportunity to connect and communicate with your partner on a deeper, more intimate level.

Have we piqued your interest? if so, here are a few tips on breaking the dirty talking ice (which might just make your partner melt)!

Start Slow

Here's what not to do: immediately start saying the most explicit things you can think of! This especially applies if you and/or your partner are new to dirty talk. Dirty talk can be highly effective without being overly lewd or tacky. After all, what makes a phrase dirty is about how aroused you feel from hearing it.

It is also important to take things slow so that you can gauge your partner's response before escalating the conversation. The simplest way to start is just by verbalising how your partner makes you feel, how you want to make them feel, or by asking them how they want to make you feel. Or, if the idea of face-to-face dirty talk still feels like too much, why not share your fantasies via text?

Feel Comfortable

Comfort and confidence in a relationship correlate to what you're willing to try sexually. Often, people have difficulty expressing their sexual desires for fear of being judged by their partner. However, the sooner you take the pressure off yourself and talk to your partner about your desire to talk dirty, the sooner your anxiety will be relieved. By increasing your communication you will also benefit from a greater sense of intimacy which creates a trusting foundation from which to explore your sexualities together.

Get Creative

'Good sex is supposed to be freeing and explorative,' sexologist Shan Boodram explains. Similarly, good dirty talking should never feel forced or awkward. Rather than focusing on what you say, focus on what feels natural and enjoyable for you and your partner.

That doesn't mean you can't get creative! Build anticipation by initiating a dirty conversation long before you get into the bedroom! A suggestive text or whispered plans for later will get your partner agonising over the coming events!

Sources used:

Mind Body Green: 'How To Talk Dirty During Sex, On The Phone & Whenever'

Get Maude: 'a beginner’s guide to talking dirty.'

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