BDSM: What is it and how to perform it safely and with consent

A lot of people are into having sex the traditional way, which just does not require the need for accessories to engage with your sexual partner. However, others find this method quite boring and choose to spice up the sexual experience with a variety of accessories and role play. Yes, some derive pleasure in being commanded to obey. Welcome to the world of BDSM.

What is BDSM?

BDSM is an acronym for bondage, discipline (or domination), sadism (or submission), masochism. They may individually sound quite scary, but because they rely on a judgement-free zone where your desires can be fully explored through communication, consent and boundaries, BDSM can actually be the safest, and most fun sex you can have according to Holly Richmond, a somatic psychologist and certified sex therapist.

Although the practice requires props, it is important that the participants discuss the different roles they want to play during the activity and how far they are willing to go, thus building trust and making it more fulfilling for those involved.

Bondage, Discipline, Dominance & Submission

Bondage is a form of sex play that allows restraint. Letting another person control your pleasure is key, and it can involve props such as handcuffs, blindfolds, or a range of restraints.

Discipline is the practice of training a 'sub' to obey or perform certain acts. Discipline is almost always present in the relationship between a dom and a sub.

Dominance and submission is the practice of giving control to another who then takes it. Dominance and submission can be emotional, physical, or both, and the dynamic can be played out in sexual acts—or through acts of being in control/acts of service. For some, the roles are full-time, while for others, the roles are only taken on at agreed times of erotic encounter.

The acts of sadism and masochism are performed by people who derive pleasure from pain. The sadist enjoys inflicting pain, while the masochist enjoys receiving it. Most people who engage in sadism or masochism enjoy a sense of empowerment from enduring something difficult.

It is important to always have a safe word during any session in order to know when to stop, that way you avoid hurting yourself or your partner.