Empathy: Here are some downsides to being overly empathetic

Empathy is one of the soft skills that many people pride themselves on having. Putting yourself in others’ shoes and feeling what they are feeling, is a positive quality to have; it builds trust, intimacy and makes you a good person, generally speaking. But, it could come at a huge cost if not checked. Read on to learn how too much empathy can be harmful to you.

Empathy is emotionally exhausting

If you identify strongly with what someone in pain is going through, you try to be there for them, you feel the need to help everyone around you. You might find yourself putting up an act to make others comfortable or happy. This could present as you not respecting your own boundaries and going out of your way to be helpful. All this can be emotionally draining and lead to burnout.

It could cloud your judgement

As humans, we find it easier empathizing with a friend or a loved one than we would with a stranger or people who are geographically removed from us. It’s why most people would donate to a charity that supports a cause that has personal significance to them.

For instance, supporting a charity for cancer research when someone you know or love has been impacted by the disease. Because you can identify more with their suffering, you might not extend your help to other causes that might need more urgent assistance.

High chance of developing unhealthy relationships

Research shows that feeling too much of your partner’s pain can lead to imbalances in the relationship. If you happen to the empathetic one, you may notice that you are not receiving as much as you are giving. This could encourage codependency in the relationship and lead to or sustain domestic violence.

You assume the best in people

Maya Angelou famously said: If someone shows you who they are, believe them. But, if you are an empath, you are always looking for the good in people. You try to explain away their misbehaviour or bad deeds because you believe they are inherently good. Once people catch on to this, they may take you for granted leaving you hurt and feeling unappreciated.

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